I’ve talked myself in and out of this trip for years.
Gladstone’s Library is a residential library in North Wales, bequeathed by the eminent statesman and former prime minister William Gladstone in 1889. Yes, that’s right. A library you can live in! Designed to be a place for anybody to undertake a period of study, the library is a popular retreat for theologians, academics, writers, and those with a curious mind.
I’d look at the photos, find a date and start to squirrel away odd bits of money here and there. Finance became the first barrier. If I booked far enough in advance, I could get the cheaper travel, but if I waited long enough perhaps there would be an offer that would grant me a cheaper room… then of course, inevitably, an unexpected expense would eat away whatever I had managed to save. Time became the second. I could do a Friday-Sunday with some ease due to my working patterns, but would that be enough? Would longer waits on rural public transport on a Sunday scupper me? Could I spare more leave when I had a wedding and a house move to plan? Obligations became the third. I’d plan a longer trip, and then work commitments would shift, or care responsibilities or the addition of family events or just a lot of life admin to sift through. And of course, the fourth came plodding after all of the above – the feeling that I couldn’t possibly really think this was a good use of time and resources given all that was going on, because was I even a real writer anyway?
What finally made the commitment real was the intervention of Arts Council England, addressing all of the barriers I mentioned. This trip became a fully funded part of my Developing Your Creative Practice grant, including travel. All I had to sort was my sustenance. Time was built-in to my activity plan, and, with the knowledge that this was highly-competitive public funding and they had decided to invest it in my career, I was certainly obliged to make the most of it. So thank you, ACE, for all of your support and especially for opening up something that I, and I’m sure many more writers with backgrounds like mine, would have talked myself out of doing for all eternity.
Day 1
Words written: 2123. Books read: 3 (word counts don’t include blogging. Maybe they should…)
I wanted to make the most of this trip and try and avoid too much travel stress, so I opted to leave at 6.50 in the morning to start my journey with a bus ride to Milton Keynes to get the 8.19 up to Crewe and then across what is rather beautifully referred to as the Borderlands rail line over the river Dee. I’d love to claim it’s 100% environmental consideration, but really I just love to travel by train wherever I can.
When I arrived I was early, of course, so went for a little explore around the grounds while the rain was still holding off. To say it is beautiful really is an understatement. The grand gothic architecture feels like stepping into another world, and it really does focus the mind down. I found a temporary space to start and began working, doing a solid 1k on the current manuscript, and finding the most unexpected inspiration for some future work…
I then went to my room, which is perfectly appointed with a little desk, a full bathroom with a bath, and a view over the neighbouring churchyard. The church bells chime on the hour, which I find strangely comforting.
I returned after dinner to find a more permanent desk for the week. It’s first come, first serve, but I was lucky enough to be able to snag this one and mark it as mine with the books I had found on a few topics of interest. It’s a pretty prime spot with good views across the library (And a desk-mate opposite to help with focus; I always find it’s easier to remain in the zone with a buddy, even if they don’t know they’re your buddy…)
You can work at the library until 10pm, and then of course you can carry on in your room for as long as you want. These desk in use signs pictured mean that you can leave your books out, your notes, anything you want so it’s not a case of lugging everything around every day. This is so useful, as long as you’re not the fretful person desperately trying to find your spot for the week…!
Day 2
Words written: 4234. Books read: 1.
I woke up earlier than I usually would, which I owe to the church bells outside my window and the relative hardness of my bed (as a note, and this is my only caveat for people staying here – if you have back issues or pain issues made worse by a firm mattress, the beds are very much not going to be your friend. My issues are not usually exacerbated by this, but even I woke up a bit sore. You may want to bring a topper or speak to the very helpful reception team in advance to see if anything can be done to help.) I then went down for the included breakfast, which is a very robust continental offer with the option of paying £4 more for a full cooked option. I’ve been trying to see if I can exist on two meals a day with a good helping in the morning… we will see how that goes.
I then retired briefly to the beautiful lounge to read a book while I waited for the main library to open at 9am. In another moment of serendipity, I was greeted by another resident who came in for a bit of quiet and noticed she had the same shoes as me…
We got talking and I discovered that she was here on a funded trip as part of her PhD, which just so happened to be in an area of interest for me as a creative practitioner as well. All from both wearing the (rather popular) Pride Tevas.
I had to resist the desire to go with her party on a really interesting sounding trip as I already had commitments today. Firstly, I was tuning into a really fascinating masterclass run by Imogen Hermes Gower as part of The Literary Consultancy’s Being a Writer Festival. I’m lucky enough to be the 2022 Chapter and Verse Scholar with TLC, which has been utterly brilliant, and the festival is such a great distillation of what makes them so good. Challenging, but not a huge time commitment, and with lots of practical support in growing your practice.
Secondly, I had a deadline to meet! So I headed back into the library to my desk, and started back at it. Writing, as we all know, is part inspiration, but a much larger part dogged determination. Turning up, sitting down, writing some absolute dross that you know won’t make it into the final manuscript but that you have to write through anyway to edit later, and occasionally finding the odd 500 words in the 5,000 that really spark something special. Well, that’s what it’s like for me anyway, and even in this beautiful environment I find the same issues. The difference in this space is I want to inhabit that determined space. I want to try, and fail. I don’t feel the draw of the other mundanities of life. All I have to do is write, even if I do it badly.
Day 3
Words written: 3265 Words edited: 9188 Books read: 1
After a wildly productive first few days, I woke up on day three bone-tired. I went to my desk as normal at 9am, and felt like I blinked and it was midday. I don’t know why I expected productivity to remain a growth-based industry, but it wasn’t happening today. Instead I made sure I hit 1k and took the time to get away from my desk and have a quick walk.
I still had to get my words in order, and I made sure I spent some time in the edit space today revising and refining some bits and pieces.
I also realised that, as it was a Friday, lots of the people who were staying here were checking out and going on to other things. And then I also realised that might mean that other desks are free…
The desk pictured had been the one I was most wowed by having had a walk around the library, and lo and behold, it was vacated. I felt a pang of guilt for a moment for abandoning my trusty friend, before switching to this larger and more tucked away workspace (the other was at the top of the stairs, which was convenient if not a little vulnerable.) It also has a much weaker connection to the internet, which can only help.
In the end the new space and a late-night push (I always work better at night) gave me a respectable count.
Day 4
Words written: 1121 Words transcribed: 722 Books read: 3
Day 4 was a slow-start day. I only got to the library at 11.30, after breakfast, a bath, and a book. I felt really dehydrated and released that it was probably down to the shift in my diet here – there’s a lot of traditional British fare, which means a LOT of salt. I took the morning slowly, running a bubble bath and reading a novella (I’ll put a list of books read at the end!)
When I did finally get to the library, I took the opportunity not just to write but to look up a particular book I had been interested in reading for another ongoing project. I was delighted to find it and find out that it can be taken to read in other parts of the library too!
I also took the opportunity to make the most of the weather and do a walk up to Hawarden Castle – well, as close as we could get anyway. I’m not always a natural rambler, but these hillier climbs are very beautiful. While walking I listened to The Rest Room by Natasha Lipman’s recent podcast about convalescence. It really made me think about my life, the balance of it, and what I prioritise and sacrifice to be perceived as useful.
I then retired to the library for a further stint, and then an early night.
Day 5
Words written: 3004 Words Transcribed: 695 Books read: 4
I woke up with an earache and a weird sense of melancholy. Perhaps from the knowledge that this was my last full day, perhaps just from the exhaustion that my body was obviously fighting. I went into the library at 9.30 and read and transcribed passages from two books, but struggled to get writing, so I absconded to the lounge for a little while to wrap myself up with a cup of tea , a kitkat, and my kindle.
There is a tremendous pressure to make the most of time, to not waste any precious moment not-writing, but the reality is that at some point you need to recharge, fill the coffers again. I’ve been reading Bird by Bird throughout this trip, and it’s been a great companion in recharging me and refocusing on the smaller moments that add up to bigger victories.
I also made one last discovery in the library. To the left of my desk, there was a book I had not spotted, on the bottom shelves. Who else but Octavia, the messiah of Bedford, who anticipated the New Jerusalem in the town and led a group of largely middle-class white women to a potential salvation. What a fitting final book to read.
In the end, after a very slow start, having a bath and a read instead of dinner was a great call, as it energised me for some nighttime writing, and I ended up staying right to the dot of closure.
Day 6
Words written: 1932 Books Read: 2
Not a full day, but a partial again. I made sure I was at my, now very-loved, desk on the dot at 9am, to ensure I could make the most of it. I felt a bit run-down, so went back to some of the exercises in the brilliant Steering the Craft by Ursula K LeGuin for some exercise inspiration, which got me going again. Though you have to check out by 10am, you are free to use the library all day with a temporary pass, and I made sure I had allocated some time to make sure I could do this before starting my journey home at 3pm. I felt completely bereft when packing up… but determined to save up where I can and return soon.
Final counts and thoughts
It’s easy to recommend a trip to Gladstone’s library. You could easily spend the £120 a night for a single room (less for students, SoA members, and clergy, with other special offers all the time) at any B&B these days, but to be in a place that gathers together other curious minds, authors, and academics in such a beautiful setting is such a nice change of pace. The library was founded on the idea of a gift of knowledge to the world, and people bring that gift in abundance too. I met two PhD candidates who were working on artistic projects that fascinated me, and made me consider the space I was making in my life for creative thought. I also met two people with professional jobs who, through pure passion for the subject, were researching and writing whole nonfiction manuscripts on Bach’s last fugue and the scriptology of Victorian buildings. The person researching the latter said to me that it was his biggest sorrow to see how little space there was for curiosity anymore, that everything had to be monetised, or productive, and nothing could be just for the love of it anymore, and that will stick with me forever.
I have a few caveats and things to warn people of in advance. Firstly, as mentioned, the beds are very hard and may not be suitable to all. Secondly though there are accessible rooms and the downstairs of the library is accessible by wheelchair or for those with mobility aids, the upstairs, which I found the most beautiful part, is only accessible via a narrow spiral staircase. The library is staffed until 5pm, and some visitors may struggle to be able to work past that unassisted. Thirdly, the food is very traditionally Wailian almost across the board and that meant the salt levels were VERY high. My head is still spinning from it. That’s not to say some of it isn’t very tasty, but if like me your diet is lower in salt and meat, you may find that you struggle to digest everything. I’ve not eaten like this since I was a kid, and I remember why! Lastly, Hawarden is a proper small town. There is a tiny pharmacy and lovely café, and currently one open pub. There is a post office, and a farm shop, and that is largely it. Opening hours fluctuate as usually it’s one family running the whole business. Don’t assume you will be able to pick anything up. Pack sensibly!
I had a great time at Gladstones. Part of me wishes I’d managed to write more (I had lofty hopes of 5k a day) but another part of me knows that what I needed more than anything was space to think, reconnect, and create in a way that felt genuine to me, and I definitely achieved that.
Words written: 15,679
Words transcribed or edited: 10,605
Books read: 11
The End We Start From by Megan Hunter, Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, A Diary of Revival 1904 by Kevin Adams, The Country will Bring Us No Peace by Matthiew Simard, The Welsh Religious Revival 1904-5 by Wyrnwy Morgan, William Salesbury by R Brinley Jones, Jehovah’s Witnesses: Portrait of a Contemporary Religious Movement by Andrew Holden, Women, Identity and Religion in Wales by Manon Ceridwen James, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, Octavia, Daughter of God by Jane Shaw, The 1904 Revival, a postmortem by David Protheroe
Rae Leaver Rahman 